Amused Musings On A Slightly Absurd World

Tonight I walked into my local Target to buy some dog food and trash bags. While in there, I decided to buy a pair of black pantyhose. If you have read my earlier posts (here, here, here, and here), you  know for well over a year now I have been frustrated and outraged that Target discontinued its Honey shade of Hanes Solutions pantyhose, the only flesh-colored shade they sold for women of color. I was pissed. I blogged about it, I contacted Target, I contacted Hanes, I tried to start a pantyhose letter-writing revolution, I ranted and raved into the universe that didn’t seem to care.  Then I gave up and resigned myself to go bare-legged during the summer and tights in the winter.  The Gods only created “buff beige” and didn’t care about brown-skinned women like me.

So imagine my shock this evening when I walk over to the pantyhose aisle and see several rows of brown packages with brown women on them telling me that there were pantyhose in “Skintones that are as unique as you.” WHAT?  Lord, Jesus, Joseph and Mary.  I nearly fell out in the store.  It was close to Halloween, not even close to April Fools.  Were my eyes deceiving me?  No.  It was real.

A line of Hanes Solutions pantyhose for brown women like me.  Gentlebrown, Hazelnut, Expresso, Natural, and Barely There.  Same silly names they always use, but that couldn’t steal my joy, no sir.  So I looked carefully, trying to discern which one was right for me.  Gentlebrown, Hazelnut, Expresso–possibly too dark even though “silky sheer.”  I was going to have to choose Barely There or Natural.  Side by side, natural appeared too light, but Barely There might be just right.  (WTF–I’m rhyming now.  Can you see the smile on my face?)  Sometimes Barely There can go the way of so-called “Nude” pantyhose, but nope, I checked.  [There happened to be an opened package nearby.]  And like the brown woman on the package with the silky legs, it seemed to fit my skin tone.

I pinched myself and grabbed two pair to get me through to pay day.  I did another once over, just to make sure.  The packaging confirmed it.   “Buff beige” was off to the right in an off-white, greyish package, nothing like the little brown packs in my hands.  I headed to the check-out with a new lease on life.  My gams would be totally professional once again.

Ladies, to make sure this shock doesn’t ware off, make sure to buy this product from Target if you like it.  Let them know we matter in the marketplace.

Amen.